May 2, 2006

“Sila, U r too simple. U don't understand."

“Impossible, Nickson. Don't tell me all this. And I have never believed, & will never believe in all such rubbish."

“U have to understand that U, yourself, underestimate yourself. You don't know the effect U have on them."

“Stop talking rubbish. U mean this college has such a dearth of beautiful females, and that these guys can crash their expectations to fall for just a less-than-ordinary looking woman? Where are your senses?"

“Listen Sila. It's not only and only about physical beauty."

Shit. How will I ever make her understand how beautiful she is.
“OK fine. I understand- there are people in this college, not personalities. But then, there are several more attractive personalities. Attractive and beautiful in every way. I barely ever attract attention to myself……believe me, I’m proud of that.”

All my loose-fitting dresses have done exactly that.
“That’s what you think”. U foolish woman. “I know what they think whenever U are talking to them.”

“Now Nickson, don’t tell me I’m not supposed to talk to them.”

“Of course U are supposed to talk to them. Sit with them. Laugh with them. Not knowing what’s in their mind.”

“Oh, shut up Nickson. I very carefully choose the people I associate with. & none of them are like that. & DON’T U DARE question women’s intuition, especially mine, in these matters.”

“OK chill. But U must know whom to avoid, and presently…………”

“Nickson, my friend, I know U are terribly concerned about me. Believe me. I appreciate it. But upto a point. Not after that. The right of decisions lies with me…..I know U know that.”

“Yes Sila, yes. But Sila, please know that you are nonchalant in these matters because U don’t know, & are not willing to realize that, U r no ordinary-looking woman.”

U r stunning coz U don’t know U are.
“I thank U for creating this pleasurable turmoil within me, but I exactly know how ugly I am. And I don’t even care whether I’m beautiful or not. I just want to do my work properly and I care for nothing other than that. Thank U so much but U are only wasting your time and energy.”

“Oh yeah. Of course. The pleasure was mine.”

Why do U like thriving on the thin border between simplicity and foolishness, acceptance and non-acceptance, maturity and immaturity, beauty and divinity?
“And Sila, if U think I’ve been put off, then the answer is no. I’ll keep telling U that U underestimate yourself for your own harm. Nothing else.”

“Nickson, thanks so much……..but….in the future, whenever U think about this matter, it’d be better if U’d care for your own time and energy. Seriously.”

But I care only for U. “OK, bye.”

As she stood at the gate and bade him goodbye, Nickson could not help but think-“Angel.”


  1. is it autobiographical????

    somehow u don't seem like Sila, actually the image i hav in my mind of u, is of a girl exactly opposite in nature to Sila....

    Nyways well written....especially the way u have expressed the thoughts of the characters...
    i will be waiting for the next part to come.... u r planning on continuing, right???

  2. of course i'll b comin up wid mch more!

  3. Are you as innocent as you seem to be in this story?

    Actually, it doesn't matter what you are. The question is, do you believe you are as innocent as this story seems to suggest?

  4. Innocence, wholesomeness n purity show themselves very nicely.good!


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