May 2, 2006

“Sila, U r too simple. U don't understand."

“Impossible, Nickson. Don't tell me all this. And I have never believed, & will never believe in all such rubbish."

“U have to understand that U, yourself, underestimate yourself. You don't know the effect U have on them."

“Stop talking rubbish. U mean this college has such a dearth of beautiful females, and that these guys can crash their expectations to fall for just a less-than-ordinary looking woman? Where are your senses?"

“Listen Sila. It's not only and only about physical beauty."

Shit. How will I ever make her understand how beautiful she is.
“OK fine. I understand- there are people in this college, not personalities. But then, there are several more attractive personalities. Attractive and beautiful in every way. I barely ever attract attention to myself……believe me, I’m proud of that.”

All my loose-fitting dresses have done exactly that.
“That’s what you think”. U foolish woman. “I know what they think whenever U are talking to them.”

“Now Nickson, don’t tell me I’m not supposed to talk to them.”

“Of course U are supposed to talk to them. Sit with them. Laugh with them. Not knowing what’s in their mind.”

“Oh, shut up Nickson. I very carefully choose the people I associate with. & none of them are like that. & DON’T U DARE question women’s intuition, especially mine, in these matters.”

“OK chill. But U must know whom to avoid, and presently…………”

“Nickson, my friend, I know U are terribly concerned about me. Believe me. I appreciate it. But upto a point. Not after that. The right of decisions lies with me…..I know U know that.”

“Yes Sila, yes. But Sila, please know that you are nonchalant in these matters because U don’t know, & are not willing to realize that, U r no ordinary-looking woman.”

U r stunning coz U don’t know U are.
“I thank U for creating this pleasurable turmoil within me, but I exactly know how ugly I am. And I don’t even care whether I’m beautiful or not. I just want to do my work properly and I care for nothing other than that. Thank U so much but U are only wasting your time and energy.”

“Oh yeah. Of course. The pleasure was mine.”

Why do U like thriving on the thin border between simplicity and foolishness, acceptance and non-acceptance, maturity and immaturity, beauty and divinity?
“And Sila, if U think I’ve been put off, then the answer is no. I’ll keep telling U that U underestimate yourself for your own harm. Nothing else.”

“Nickson, thanks so much……..but….in the future, whenever U think about this matter, it’d be better if U’d care for your own time and energy. Seriously.”

But I care only for U. “OK, bye.”

As she stood at the gate and bade him goodbye, Nickson could not help but think-“Angel.”


  1. is it autobiographical????

    somehow u don't seem like Sila, actually the image i hav in my mind of u, is of a girl exactly opposite in nature to Sila....

    Nyways well written....especially the way u have expressed the thoughts of the characters...
    i will be waiting for the next part to come.... u r planning on continuing, right???

  2. of course i'll b comin up wid mch more!


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