December 14, 2012

What is it about music that it makes U remember things U prefer to forget?

I turned my face to look outside. The breeze felt cold, particularly along two lines on my cheeks. I touched my face. Damn, I couldn't believe I was crying.

Tears flooded out. Automatically. Effortlessly. But why? The music playing far away in the background. It took me to one of the days in my past that I abhor. The deep sense of hurt, loss, dejection, regret, despair, resentment- all came flooding back to my heart. And tears flooded out. Automatically. Effortlessly.

I've realised this over time. The songs I've loved the most, I've later started detesting. Coz they started to be associated with resentful memories. Coz they held the key to opening the door to those painful, helpless moments. Coz they zapped, sapped away the positive energy of my present. And then I am left with only my tears.

So I preserve MySelf. I detest those songs so much that I gradually forget its lyrics, then its tune. I liberate MySelf from the shackles, the chains those songs have with the deepest fathoms of my soul. Of course, these chains clink again when out of nowhere, the same music starts playing again.....

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